


Best Party Ever, Whoo!

by zams



Series: Conversations Series [4]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Glee RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-23
Updated: 2011-06-23
Packaged: 2017-10-20 16:26:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/214705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zams/pseuds/zams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/202402">Tonight, I Am The Drug You Can't Deny</a>. Tommy wants to know how Adam puts up with dating Darren.</p><p><em>"You know, I feel sorry for you," Tommy says. "How does it feel to be dating the biggest fucking hipster this side of the galaxy?"</em></p><p><em>Adam sighs dreamily and says, "Amazing."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Party Ever, Whoo!

\---

"You know, I feel sorry for you," Tommy says. He props his feet up on the coffee table, settling back into the comfy couch. "How does it feel to be dating the biggest fucking hipster this side of the galaxy?"

Tommy waits, expecting Adam to explode and snark back, but all he does is sigh dreamily and say, "Amazing."

Tommy pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at it, his 'wtf?' expression firmly in place.

Fucking hell. This is worse than Tommy thought.

He puts the phone back up to his ear. "Fuck me, you get off on it, don't you?" he says. "Yeah, you do. That curly hair, those geeky glasses, grandpa sweaters over white undershirts, embarrassed smile... it all gets you hot, you sick fucker."

"I know!" Adam yells. "Fuck. Darren is so fucking hot, I can't stand it. He _breathes_ and I want him."

"You're sad," Tommy says. "Fuckin' sad. God."

"I see him and all I can think about is fucking him. You know how hard I am right now, just from watching him on TV?" Adam asks. "So fucking hard, it's ridiculous. It's like he's got some hold over me. Maybe he's a witch!"

Tommy rolls his eyes; Adam can be such a drama queen. "No," Tommy says. "You're just whipped. Like, bad." His own TV is on mute, Darren on the screen on _The Glee Project_ , looking all earnest and adorable as he talks and gestures at the contestants.

It makes Tommy sick. He ignores the fact that he's just as bad as Adam when it comes to Chris, and Chris is arguably even more adorable than Darren. "Do I need to have an intervention? Your obsession is getting a little out of control. Actually, it was out of control before it really even got started, but now. Wow. You've taken obsession to a whole new level."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Adam says. "And fuck you, Tommy Joe. If I'm obsessed, you are too."

Tommy makes a face. He is not obsessed with Chris.

"Don't think I don't know about your Kurt poster rolled up under your bed," Adam says. "Or your _Glee_ calendar handing in the back of your closet. One day, I just might let that little juicy tidbit slip to Chris. Wonder what he'll say about that."

Tommy sits up, outraged. How the- "You fucker! You better fucking keep your mouth shut!"

"Or what?" Adam says.

Adam has the nerve to not even sound worried. "Or... or...," Tommy flounders, trying to think of something. "Or I'll burn all your _Glee_ t-shirts!"

Adam gasps, and Tommy smirks to himself. "Yeah, that's right. I'll burn all ten of them and laugh at your tears."

"You are an asshole," Adam says. "An evil, maniacal asshole." He huffs. "Fine. I'll keep my mouth shut if you keep your mouth shut. But you tell Darren _anything_ and you'll be sorry."

"Whatever," Tommy says. "Your threats don't scare me."

He looks back at the TV, considering Darren. Tommy can't open a magazine, read a blog, or turn on the TV these days without seeing Darren. He's fucking everywhere. Speaking of that... "I still can't believe Darren managed to get into Katy's music video. You know anything about that?"

"I might," Adam says.

Tommy doesn't know who Adam thinks he's kidding, but he sounds like the cat that got the cream. Getting Darren in that video, even for only sixteen seconds (and sadly, yes, Tommy did count), has Adam's name all over it.

Tommy cuts to the chase. "We both know it was you. So how'd you get Katy to agree?"

"It was easy," Adam says. "Just had to do her a little favor."

"'A little favor'?" Tommy doesn't buy it. There's something Adam's not telling him. "Uh-huh."

"You wound me with your distrust, Tommy."

"Sure. What did you fucking do?"

Adam laughs. "Nothing bad, geez. I whipped out my puppy dog eyes, batted my lashes at her, and asked if she'd put Darren in the video because he's a huge fan of hers. Not like she would say no; she loves me, and America loves Darren. It was a win-win for all."

"Uh-huh," Tommy says again. "So what was the favor?"

"Are you always so suspicious? She wanted a little kiss. That's all."

"Really." Tommy's not entirely convinced Adam's telling the truth; he sounds too smug.

" _Yes_ ," Adam says. "She's hot, so I kissed her. Then Darren kissed her, and that was _really_ hot. And I kissed Darren, and then I think Katy kissed both of us. There was some groping and humping, clothes came off. Actually, it's kind of a blur. I wonder if we all had sex?"

Tommy rolls his eyes. "Oh, shut the fuck up, you fucking liar. I don't even care anymore. This conversation ran over my allotted care time about ten minutes ago. So go back to perving on your boyfriend, sicko; I'm hungry."

"Pot, kettle," Adam says. "Is Chris there? I'm sure he has some meat he can feed you."

"Hi-fucking-larious. You should do stand-up," Tommy says. "Really. Feel free to quit your day job, too, asshole."

"Then you'd lose your day job," Adam points out.

"I'll just be Chris' kept boy," Tommy says. "Just waiting in bed all day, naked and ready, until Chris wants me to service him. Hmm…"

Adam snorts. "And you call me the sicko. But I'm sure Chris would like that. Maybe you should ask him to role-play with you. Could be hot."

"Yeah…" Tommy says, mind racing with dirty thoughts.

"Guess you like that idea," Adam says, Tommy only distantly hearing him. "And I'm going to hang up now. You can tell me 'thank you' later."

Fuck, that'd be so hot, just waiting for Chris, only caring about how he could please him, only there to service him and hope Chris is generous and lets him come…

"Interesting conversation."

Tommy jumps, dropping his phone and spinning around. "Fuck!"

Chris' leaning against the wall divining the living room and the kitchen/dining room, arms crossed over his chest and only wearing one of Tommy's Metallica tour shirts. He looks likes he just rolled out of bed. "Um," Tommy says. He doesn't like the gleam of amusement in Chris' eyes. Shit. Did Chris hear him on the phone with Adam? This could be bad.

"How, uh, how long you been standing there?" He feels like a kid who got caught sneaking cookies out of the cookie jar.

"Since you threatened to burn Adam's _Glee_ tee shirts. That wasn't very nice."

 _Shit_. "That long, huh?"

"Yeah," Chris says. He walks over to Tommy and sits down beside him. "You two have an… interesting friendship."

"Understatement of the century," Tommy mutters. Chris doesn't sound mad, just amused and maybe a little confused, so Tommy holds an arm up, and Chris moves closer to him.

Tommy drops his arm back down, resting it comfortably over Chris' shoulders, fingers stroking over his neck.

"I don't think I actually want to know what you were really talking about," Chris says. "I'm traumatized enough by the half I did hear. And I'm sure anything I imagine will be less terrifying than the reality."

Tommy chuckles. He nuzzles a bit at Chris' head and puts his free hand on Chris' thigh. "That’s probably a good idea," he says, his hand inching up Chris' leg and disappearing under his shirt.

Chris' breath hitches and his legs slide further apart.

"I am hungry though," Tommy says, kissing Chris' neck as his fingers curl around a half-hard cock. "Can you help me with that?"

"Yeah," Chris breathes. He turns his head and licks across the seam of Tommy's lips. "I can definitely help with that."

\---


End file.
